I am all alone At one with my thoughts Trying not to fall inside This depression it has wrought The quiet is so loud Deafening my senses Leading me to second guess Even my noblest of pretenses I remind myself This too shall pass I am fighting for better tomorrows Better days that will last It is okay to be sad This will go in a little while For I am taking the time now To truly learn how to smile
Something I wish I believed before today
Life is hard, as we grow up with expectations of where we should be at certain ages of life, and honestly, it’s poppycock. We have to be real with ourselves about what we want and feel first. Once we get to that, if someone clicks into our journey, great, but never make severe sacrifices for someone else’s happiness. It sounds selfish, but, in the end, all we ever have is ourself.
Nice for a little while
I know it was only a dream Yet you must really understand How great it was to talk with you To go back to when we were best friends I know it was only a dream In the moments it felt so real Looking each other in the eyes Casting away the barriers in how we feel I know it was only a dream In being close enough to hold you again Being able to laugh and cry together Two broken hearts together learning to mend I know it was only a dream From it I am now awake Wondering if there is time yet for us Or if it is truly just too late It was only a dream
From My View
Time has clouded our meeting that day Of Providence due to situation Yet this did not preview What would become after initial salutations Time moved slowly Each of us telling our tales How in life we have succeeded Also, the times we have failed I’ve listened to your heart Fallen for how resolute it beats Stricken at times with admiration For in you is a woman complete You have such drive and determination Your heart is so strong Even when you have a setback Know it will never last too long You are such a kind listener Your counsel is one I can trust Because judging is not something you jump to For your compassion is fair and just You are a person I strive to emulate You inspire me to be more Just know I want to be there with you No matter what is in store I have fallen in love with every part of you The good, bad, ugly, beautiful, dark, and divine You possess one of the greatest things on earth A soul that has touched mine
Taste of Fragrance
Scenes from a dream Sometimes become reality Of a future unhappened wrapped in uncertainty Two of us becoming close Taking in each other’s secrets Trust blossoming between us A relation that we will never regret Looking into each other’s eyes Laying just moments away Feelings of love and affection Growing stronger with each word we say I do not remember who moved first When we finally embraced Bodies drawing closer Bringing us face to face Gazing deeply into each other’s eyes With a flame not seen before A slight gasp falls from my lips Involuntarily admitting I want more I reach up slowly Part the hair away from your face Taking in every minute detail of the moment Etching each moment with grace You bring yourself to me Your lips touching mine Twin souls blazing together Forging a connection divine It was just a mere moment But I felt that time stopped for hours We gave each other the chance To enjoy our wildflowers
Tiger in the Sun
If I am being honest I do not know the reason why All I have is this feeling Emanating from inside Emotions unknown Triggered by chance Thoughts of friendship Possible romance Each day I wonder If I am on the right path Yet I resolve with myself That this is the one to last So many times, I have chosen Life of another versus my own This time I still avow I will sit on my own throne If our worlds align It is not because I am the only one So, dare I hope you join me On a pilgrimage to the sun
Thoughts in her mind
I am just going about my day Not expecting to see him at all Slogging thru the mundane No worries about him at all Yet when he unexpectedly appears Why does my heart race What make my emotions fluster Is it that I have feelings for him Or that I do not want to disappoint another One day I will make a stand Tell him how I feel I cannot live worrying about How someone else will feel This chain of wanting to please others It really needs to end After all isn’t that what I would say If I were talking with a dear friend I hope that I can get there After all I really have nothing to lose For I really am responsible just for how I feel That is my decision to choose
Put This in the Funk and Wagnel’s
You know I wish I really knew I wish I could explain how I wish I could explain why You know I feel you when you are sad I feel you when you are conflicted I feel when you want to die Please Do not give into despair Do not give into expectations Do not give into the pain Please Live for a better tomorrow Live for the life you want Live for yourself again I know You are a wonderful person You have the most beautiful soul You are worth fighting for I know I will always be there to support your I will always be there on bad days and good I will always be there for you Hmm Now I accept what this is Now I accept I can define it Now I accept this This This is Love
April Playlist – Counter Crushes
- Numb – Linkin Park (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8P0vKLHbtMg)
Chester lays out the crushing awareness of realizing how far you have slipped from being who you need to be just to be with someone. Everyone has a breaking point, and Numb is the crossroads in realizing you are at that place.
- Everything You Want – Vertical Horizon (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKW0uelA6Dw)
A good song about someone who has someone in their life, but they have absolutely no want or desire for them in return. Interesting paradigm I discovered on this song as well, as in the last chorus when the phrasing changes from He to I, in that this could also be reflective of one’s own self, and how you forgotten how to be your own friend.
- Everything About You – Ugly Kid Joe (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZjaSD-cXcA)
This song literally was the breakup song for 98% of all relations when it came out in 1992. An expose in the raw rage and pure anger of a bad break up taken to the extreme. I hope these guys sought counselling at some point.
- Don’t Speak – No Doubt (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qbb7r1XgMTU)
Back when Gwen Stefani was still pseudo-punk, her and her mates cranked out one of the best break up songs I think of all time. The pain of not wanting to talk because you feel all your hopes and dreams bleeding out into the floor. Agony!
- I Wish It Would Rain – The Temptations (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSkKzPwXFxc)
Channeling pure male sadness and expectations in that men should not show emotions. Pleading to the heavens for rain to hide the stains on his face, does it get any worse for men? I am glad that this standard has started changing over the years because I for one, never could hide my emotions. For the record, I was introduced to this song in the 90s by the band Little Caesar (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmWIt-c77kU) and I am including that version as well.
- Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps – Cake (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vyZzU4iiLU)
While not directly saying ‘crap or get off the can’, it does capture the anxiety of feeling like you are trapped in Limbo. From personal experience I know how frustrating that is, to the point it is one of my greatest mistakes in flat out asking someone to make that decision. I should have done it on my own and just been done. If you love something set it free right? Oh, and fun fact, I didn’t realize until making this list that originally this song was by Doris Day (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkwIKytpII0).
With thanks for inspiration from the lovely Megan O’Keeffe at debatablydateable.com
Social Distancing
I can feel your hurt I don’t understand why The pain you feel Makes want to give up and die Your heart she aches Your soul ripped to shreds All you now feel Just sorrow and dread I know you want to push us all away All you want to do is hide It hurts way to much To allow another inside So I will respect your wishes I will give you that space But know if you ever wanted I will still set aside for you a place You’ve helped me through some of my lowest You might not believe it but it is true I can offer you someone just to exist by Someone to go through this with too You don’t need to be alone I recognize though this isn’t my battle to fight Yet I will support what you do Whatever you choose is right I send this message to you With hopes and blessings from above Know in your heart my friend It still is you I love
