Taste of Fragrance

Scenes from a dream
Sometimes become reality
Of a future unhappened
wrapped in uncertainty
 
Two of us becoming close
Taking in each other’s secrets
Trust blossoming between us
A relation that we will never regret
 
Looking into each other’s eyes
Laying just moments away
Feelings of love and affection
Growing stronger with each word we say
 
I do not remember who moved first
When we finally embraced
Bodies drawing closer
Bringing us face to face
 
Gazing deeply into each other’s eyes
With a flame not seen before
A slight gasp falls from my lips
Involuntarily admitting I want more
 
I reach up slowly
Part the hair away from your face
Taking in every minute detail of the moment
Etching each moment with grace
 
You bring yourself to me
Your lips touching mine
Twin souls blazing together
Forging a connection divine
 
It was just a mere moment
But I felt that time stopped for hours
We gave each other the chance
To enjoy our wildflowers

Denial of Youth

Shock and awe
World turned asunder
Reflecting of days
Memories with you
 
Can we find the courage
To leave all our hurt behind
Meet each other anew
Maybe this time
Learn to be a friend
 
I feel back then
Before it all went wrong
We moved to fast and too deeply
Missing that important first part
Not allowing true knowledge and respect grow
We only wanted to succor our bleeding hearts
 
I want to let that hurt go
I hope that you can as well
Find a new beginning
Built on our past loves sepulcher
Not for just you and me
No
For the both of us
And her

Existence

  I feel I should be recovered
From that fateful day in the summer
When the die was cast
 
Yet I am still beaten
Blacken and bruised
Broken
 
I don’t know how to heal
I don’t know how to recover
I know I have tried
 
I have fallen in false love
Some call it a first
But it was never enough to her
Not strong enough to keep
But strong enough to exist
Not enough to overcome the betrayal
Strong enough to find courage to walk away
Start over
 
Fall into falseness again
Thought it was more complete
Not strong enough to fight two battles at one
 
I will always choose my daughter
Love understands that
It is my core
 
So failure again
 
False starts
 
Finding one who could be the one
Not being enough for her to commit
Always keeping me wanting more
But not wanting to keep me
So it ends
 
A chance reignites
Burns and feels right
To become something to commit to
Yet is hollow
I fear I need more
I want more
I worry I found it
But will never be able to have it
So far away
And coincidentally
So close
 
And all of it
Is draining my soul

Ends of the Galaxy

Two souls passing through life
Chance upon the other one night
Tales are shared between the two
Of where life went wrong and right
 
Certain understandings were found
In the pain they had hoped to manage
Regret and sadness of life passed by
Sharing their scars and damage
 
Little could they have known
As their wounds began to mend
Of a silent evolution in spirit
Becoming something more than simple friends
 
Finding buried within the other
A force yearning for affection
Yet circumstance and sixteen hundred miles
Dampens all thoughts of connection
 
So they are forced to carry on
To no longer entertain the burning desire
But can you ever extinguish a flame
If you didn’t start the fire
 
I am not sure where this will to lead
Yet I'll carry you with me till the end
I will be Milky Way for you sweet Andromeda
My wonderful star crossed friend

Time for Roses

 I need to remember
To take a moment
Review the when, why and how
Try to decompress these emotions
These hopes
Desires
 
I need to learn to enjoy the view
Projects accomplished
Friends made
Growth of others
Times shared
 
I need to look back into me
What I have done
Where I am
What I want to be
 
I need to step away from my current everyday
Take a moment just for me
Because I don’t want to end my life 

As merely wasted time

Like the Old Man and the Sea

Realization of an Unseen Journey

Should we both take a moment
Let the flow of time rewind
Back before the thought of me entered your heart
And you had unknowingly won mine
 
Can you remember what it was like
In those simple days back then
Nothing more than chance greetings between us
Back when we were just mere friends
 
That seems so long ago
It feels so far away
Before everything that had been shared between us
Has now brought us to this day
 
I smile as I reflect and remember
My very first hello from you
Never imagining that one day would appear
In which we both say, “I love you”

The Rabbit Hole

Thoughts in our conversation

They roam all over the place

Learning about the other

Listening to the details of our hearts

Hearing a possible sadness over missed opportunity

Knowing that if things were different

I would love to grant it

These I want too

 

It may seem silly

Maybe that I am older

Yet it is also a base desire men have

Legacy

A son

 

If you and I went down a path together

I would try for your wishes

I know you would for mine

A continuation of our legacy

A bringer of a better future

 

Yet know that isn’t our only thoughts

We would have us

Partners in a life we have both felt neglected

Being there for the good

Supporting in the bad

Hand in hand

Making each day better than the last

 

I dare to dream that we

At long last

Might be content

Glowing in the love of another

Reborn

 

Alive

Combining Worlds

Sometimes I daydream

I think about you and I

Lying together

In the quiet

Listening to the beating of our hearts

 

Holding each other

Softly running fingers through your hair

Lightly tracing the shapes of your face

Learning and memorizing the details of every inch

Knowing I will know you if my vision were to fade

 

Running my hands over the shapes of you

Enjoying every caress

Feeling every curve

Slow and steady

As if this were the first and last time we’d be together

 

Enjoying these moments

With your head on my shoulder

Listening to you breathe

Feeling the air fill your lungs and be let out

Heaving and falling

 

Touching the beats of your heart

Pumping in your chest

Thumping softly with contentment

Slowing and becoming in time with mine

 

In these dreams

We become a singular being

Living for each other

Living in each moment

Finally, content

 

Loved

 

In these dreams

I finally know what I’ve been looking for

Peace

One Step Back

I wish I knew what to do

Which direction to go

Which choices to make

I wish I knew what was real

Which are voices in my head

Which are ideas that will never be

What I really want

I wish I could find happiness

Enjoy peace

Embrace the quiet

Find that moment of Zen

I wish I could build that power

Become dependent on me

Know that I am strong

Know that I can do this

I wish all those things

But

I am just me

Weak

Flawed

Uncommitted

Unhappy

Unsatisfied

Loved by many

Unloved by me

Does She Wonder Too?

 Even though we have never met
I wonder what she thinks
Are we missing out on family
A lost soul needing a link
 
I admit to all that in the past
That I had been dismissive
In the knowledge that she exists
As I grow older I start to wonder sometimes
If this is something I dearly miss
 
I am not complaining
My adoptive life has been more wonderful than I can explain
But to share my story more with her
Is that all so bad
 
I feel that I would like to know
If we react to things the same
If we have genetic quirks
Our own shared demons to tame
 
So today I wonder
How life has worked out and been for my sister
Even though we have never met
Deep inside I think that I feel
I feel that I truly do miss her