Nice for a little while

 I know it was only a dream
 Yet you must really understand
 How great it was to talk with you
 To go back to when we were best friends
  
 I know it was only a dream
 In the moments it felt so real
 Looking each other in the eyes
 Casting away the barriers in how we feel
  
 I know it was only a dream
 In being close enough to hold you again
 Being able to laugh and cry together
 Two broken hearts together learning to mend
  
 I know it was only a dream
 From it I am now awake
 Wondering if there is time yet for us
 Or if it is truly just too late
  
 It was only a dream

From My View

Time has clouded our meeting that day
Of Providence due to situation
Yet this did not preview
What would become after initial salutations

Time moved slowly
Each of us telling our tales
How in life we have succeeded
Also, the times we have failed

I’ve listened to your heart
Fallen for how resolute it beats
Stricken at times with admiration
For in you is a woman complete

You have such drive and determination
Your heart is so strong
Even when you have a setback
Know it will never last too long

You are such a kind listener
Your counsel is one I can trust
Because judging is not something you jump to
For your compassion is fair and just

You are a person I strive to emulate
You inspire me to be more
Just know I want to be there with you
No matter what is in store

I have fallen in love with every part of you
The good, bad, ugly, beautiful, dark, and divine
You possess one of the greatest things on earth
A soul that has touched mine

Taste of Fragrance

Scenes from a dream
Sometimes become reality
Of a future unhappened
wrapped in uncertainty
 
Two of us becoming close
Taking in each other’s secrets
Trust blossoming between us
A relation that we will never regret
 
Looking into each other’s eyes
Laying just moments away
Feelings of love and affection
Growing stronger with each word we say
 
I do not remember who moved first
When we finally embraced
Bodies drawing closer
Bringing us face to face
 
Gazing deeply into each other’s eyes
With a flame not seen before
A slight gasp falls from my lips
Involuntarily admitting I want more
 
I reach up slowly
Part the hair away from your face
Taking in every minute detail of the moment
Etching each moment with grace
 
You bring yourself to me
Your lips touching mine
Twin souls blazing together
Forging a connection divine
 
It was just a mere moment
But I felt that time stopped for hours
We gave each other the chance
To enjoy our wildflowers

Thoughts in her mind

I am just going about my day
Not expecting to see him at all
Slogging thru the mundane
No worries about him at all
 
Yet when he unexpectedly appears
Why does my heart race
What make my emotions fluster
Is it that I have feelings for him
Or that I do not want to disappoint another
 
One day I will make a stand
Tell him how I feel
I cannot live worrying about
How someone else will feel
 
This chain of wanting to please others
It really needs to end
After all isn’t that what I would say
If I were talking with a dear friend
 
I hope that I can get there
After all I really have nothing to lose
For I really am responsible just for how I feel
That is my decision to choose

Put This in the Funk and Wagnel’s

You know
I wish I really knew
I wish I could explain how
I wish I could explain why
 
You know
I feel you when you are sad
I feel you when you are conflicted
I feel when you want to die
 
Please
Do not give into despair
Do not give into expectations
Do not give into the pain
 
Please
Live for a better tomorrow
Live for the life you want
Live for yourself again
 
I know
You are a wonderful person
You have the most beautiful soul
You are worth fighting for
 
I know
I will always be there to support your
I will always be there on bad days and good
I will always be there for you
 
Hmm
Now I accept what this is
Now I accept I can define it
Now I accept this
 
This
 
This is Love

April Playlist – Counter Crushes

Chester lays out the crushing awareness of realizing how far you have slipped from being who you need to be just to be with someone.  Everyone has a breaking point, and Numb is the crossroads in realizing you are at that place.

A good song about someone who has someone in their life, but they have absolutely no want or desire for them in return.  Interesting paradigm I discovered on this song as well, as in the last chorus when the phrasing changes from He to I, in that this could also be reflective of one’s own self, and how you forgotten how to be your own friend. 

This song literally was the breakup song for 98% of all relations when it came out in 1992.  An expose in the raw rage and pure anger of a bad break up taken to the extreme.  I hope these guys sought counselling at some point.

Back when Gwen Stefani was still pseudo-punk, her and her mates cranked out one of the best break up songs I think of all time.  The pain of not wanting to talk because you feel all your hopes and dreams bleeding out into the floor.  Agony!

Channeling pure male sadness and expectations in that men should not show emotions.  Pleading to the heavens for rain to hide the stains on his face, does it get any worse for men?  I am glad that this standard has started changing over the years because I for one, never could hide my emotions.  For the record, I was introduced to this song in the 90s by the band Little Caesar (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmWIt-c77kU) and I am including that version as well.

While not directly saying ‘crap or get off the can’, it does capture the anxiety of feeling like you are trapped in Limbo.  From personal experience I know how frustrating that is, to the point it is one of my greatest mistakes in flat out asking someone to make that decision.  I should have done it on my own and just been done.  If you love something set it free right?  Oh, and fun fact, I didn’t realize until making this list that originally this song was by Doris Day (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkwIKytpII0).

With thanks for inspiration from the lovely Megan O’Keeffe at debatablydateable.com

A Vision with Amber

It happened in a moment
One fleeting instant when a flash of warmth washed over me
Wrapped around my being and
Penetrated my soul
 
I was going to hold back
Who can do that, though, when the dam truly breaks?
All that I am burst forth in a frothy mess
Flotsam and jetsam, driftwood and so much more
 
You weathered that outburst
Navigated the storm of all that I am and all that I want to be
Reminded me that I have the tools to chart this life
You had the quiet faith in me, allowing me to listen and understand
 
I am on a journey
I have rediscovered a lot of myself
I still have a lot to do
Reminded me that I shouldn’t allow myself to be distracted
 
Yet I know there is something there with you
If time and circumstance were different
I easily would make a better case
But alas, right now I shouldn’t
 
I do wish so badly that I could purge those feelings of shouldn't
Sitting with you, talking, listening, learning, understanding
Wanting to cross that friendship line
Go for broke and reach for more
 
I’ve seen it in my dreams
Brushing your hair from your eyes and feeling your face in my hands
Bringing your lips to mine, tasting our breath mixed
Drawing hearts together, beating as one for a single moment in time
 
But I am going to let that go because now just won’t do
Because if I have ever learned anything,
I've learned that, no matter what, I am fortunate to call you my friend
And that I respect your wishes too

Unanswered is an Answer

Reflecting back
Was it too much saying what I had to say
Asking what I asked
Things heavy in totality
Possibly unseen even by me
 
All I can view is its aftermath
The coolness now in our brief encounters
A thunderous silence permeates our communication
Not quite death but not really alive either
A friendship possibly broken by expressed wants and desires
 
Perhaps I will never be given any answers
Perhaps this is a lesson that I need to learn
Accept that I took the shot
Just wait a while and let it go
 
I don’t want to
Yet I will
Because life is more than just being with you
 
It is about living for me

My Growth into Release

Blindsided you say
So sudden and out of nowhere
 
I’ve rewound those words in my mind
Realizing with each and every pass
Just how much you didn’t know about me
How much you chose not to care or acknowledge
 
I feel we were friends
Ones that played a chance of falling in love
I see it so clearly now
You never wanted to see those deeper darker parts of me
You only wanted an affectionate shell
Something to show off
Something to possess
An existence
Survival
 
If you would have taken the time then
Spoke to me the flaws you chose to ignore
Maybe things could be different
Maybe we never would have shared this dance at all
 
I am not without fault as well
I should have spoken up too
Pleaded that the depths of my soul needed more
But I didn’t
I fell for a dream
I wanted to make you happy
Even if it meant sacrificing what I wanted
I dared that you would grow to want those parts of me too
 
We were wrong
Locked into patterns we traced before
Doomed to repeat the mistakes of old
A pair of lives we hoped to escape
But we didn’t
 
I honestly feel I tried
But my silence could not make you want to feel
My coldness made you long for what you really need
So we drifted apart
I can see this now
 
I admit there is sadness in this
A time shared one could see as wasted
But if we learn our lesson from this
Looking back it might be the most important time of our lives
 
Right now
It will feel bad to know that I love you
I am just not in love
I want you to be happy
I want you to be loved and cherished
Even if it isn’t with me
I love you so much I need to let you go
 
I only plead to your heart
Can you do the same for me?

Coming Clean

I wish I knew where to begin
I wish I knew what to say
Yet words had been escaping my being
I guess I should at least start today
 
I am sorry if I wasn’t clear before
Back then close to the start
When the two of us were newly made friends
That a deeper feeling took root in my heart
 
It may be to late to say this
But I do want you to know
I will always be here for you
No matter where your decision may go
 
I like you more than a friend
I feel you deep into my being
I don’t think this is just happenstance
For to me those feelings are would be fleeting
 
I do wish we could sit and talk
Push aside that anxiety
I will do my best to not disappoint you
I want to show you all of me
 
I probably should never have allowed that thought
The one that you and I could become something more
Yet it became a reoccurring vision in my heart
A feeling I had only felt but one real time before
 
I realize this is all heavy information
Something you do not know what to do with
But my friend I just wanted you to know
In you I see such a precious gift
 
I know my timing is horrible
To the point past things got away
So this is why I share this now
I cannot wait until tomorrow today
 
We both have things to work through
A mess of lives from before to untangle
I know though if you wanted
These things together we could handle
 
So now I have said what I needed to say
I’ve done my best to be clear
I honestly will be content with whatever you decide
For I am no longer choosing fear